I ATE TOO MUCH!

A common and friendly admonition expressed to friends and family after wishing them a Happy Thanksgiving is "don't eat too much!"  In fact, my sister texted me those very words on Thanksgiving Day morning.  I think doctors should turn away from the medical book this one day of the year and if unable to encourage or allow their patients to have their way at the Thanksgiving dinner table to at least remain silent on their opinion and not inject guilt on folks who might otherwise on every other day of the year be prudent eaters.  For how much fun can it be to have gobbled down second helpings of succulent turkey, yams, corn, green bean casserole, cauliflower, ham, gumbo, buttered bread, and apple and sweet potato pie without having to wrestle in conscience with your doctor's fun-busting admonition to "not eat too much."

Thanksgiving Day is a day to feast.  Feast defined by the dictionary as eating lavishly and splendidly.  While you will not find Thanksgiving Day in the Bible, you will find many references to feasting.  The word "feast" occurs 159 times in the Bible.  So there's even a spiritual basis to feasting.  And Thanksgiving Day is the one day in the calendar year we can "legally" over eat.  Other days are only excuses to become gluttons.  As for example on Mardi Gras, a day based on tradition in which in preparation for the Lenten fast we eat everything and anything that might spoil.  With Thanksgiving Day there's logic and reason behind overeating.

If you should overeat you will, after taking your last bite, feel frumpy, sluggish, and perhaps even woozy.  Might even have heartburn.  Feeling not right with your locomotion you decide to lay down.  Probably because the pile of food in your belly causes one's blood flow to be shunted from the muscles and brain area and favor instead blood flowing to the intestinal tract -- large, small, and in between -- to facilitate digestion.  Just a slight diminishing of cerebral blood flow can make one feel this way.

There is an effective remedy for this self-inflicted malady.  Several years ago I was introduced to it by my 80 year old mother-in-law.  There's something called Underberg.  It's a proprietary concoction originally from, and currently made in Germany, consisting of aromatic herbs "from 43 countries", so they claim.  It's specifically for aiding in rapid digestion.  And like their motto says, "It can't be explained...it must be experienced!" is very true.  The first time I took this stuff, which tastes like liquefied licorice laced with alcohol, I was absolutely amazed.  And I do mean amazed.  It happened at the 50th wedding anniversary of my wife's parents where everything imaginable that could be grown from the ground or baked in an oven was served, not to mention an abundance of Pilsner beer and wine for every man, woman, child, and foreigner.  Like most native hosts of any country there's this unbridled urge to make sure one's guest is well-fed and well-watered.  My hosts intended to make good on this urge.

After a brief period of engaging conversation laced with unintelligible gaps of untranslatable phrases, I had to excuse myself.  My mother-in-law recommended I take this Underberg thing.  I looked at it suspiciously in the same way one might look at an ignition key that won't start.  It comes in a 20 ml. midget-like tiny wine looking bottle.  And what you do is gurgle it down in one swoop.  Kind of like downing a shot of Crown Royal.  Or better yet, Jagermeister, which one of our dinner table guests yesterday said it reminded him of.  But it's not smooth like Crown.  I make light of its taste but it's very do-able, this Underberg.  My hosts were amiss seeing me suffer as it were and so I finally, after much scrutiny and examination of the miniature bottle, received it from my well-intentioned mum-in-law and downed it as instructed, in the same fashion some guys chug certain special spirits at runaway weddings.

Within literally 20 minutes I began feeling so much better and in less than an hour I was a new man.  Actually new enough to feel like drinking and eating a little coffee and kuchen.  Which I did.   It left an indelible impression and we now keep a few bottles on hand in case of gastronomic emergencies when my kids, grandkids, or friends come over.

I've never met any blue-blooded American that's heard of this stuff so if you have doubts you can look this Underberg stuff up on the Internet and order it.  I understand it can be bought at the Keesler Air Force Base BX, if you happen to have privilege there.  It's the only thing I've personally ever tried that is in fact 100% guaranteed to get you back on track pronto after purposefully, and perhaps against your stuffy doctor's advice, engorging yourself.

Alternative treatments to overeating and stuffed stomachs are chamomile and peppermint tea which helps food move out of the stomach and through the intestinal tract.  Also, an after meal constitutional, or stroll, helps in the same way, as well as having the added benefit of burning calories and lowering an after-meal blood sugar.  And this is a good thing.

Bon appetite!