In a previous blog I wrote about what some people think the secret is to achieving a healthy and long relationship. In his book, The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, noted marriage specialist and psychologist Dr. John Gottman, provides various questionnaires and exercises that serve to enrich, repair, and promote understanding of your partner and relationship.
One such exercise, and game, he’s devised he calls the Love Map. It’s a list of 60 questions from which both partners together, prior to starting, randomly pick 20 numbers to match the questions of which is asked to the other partner. Points are assigned to each question based on their ease or difficulty by which one spouse should know about the other. So a score can be kept. Here are a few sample questions….
Name my two closest friends.
What is my favorite musical group, composer, or instrument?
Who is my favorite relative?
What is my favorite meal?
What kinds of books do I most like to read?
Name one of my concerns or worries.
What are two of my favorite aspirations, hopes, wishes?
There are 60 of these from which you randomly choose 20 to work with.
A complete list of the 60-question Love Map for you to printout can be accessed in the "Resources" tab above in "Love Map". It’s recommended you play this game frequently, perhaps at least once a month. The more you play, the more you will understand the concept of a love map and the kind of information yours should include about your spouse.